Alright here, let's just keep this plain, classic, and simple. It's the LA premiere night of Twilight's New Moon and all the crazies are out. Some have slept for 3 days now outside of the premiere venue just to get a chance to catch a glimpse of Edward, Bella, Jacob, and the rest of the non important cast. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, it did look kind of fun if they were waiting to get into say like the Blueprint 3 tour......but no, not anything cool like that. They just want to stand outside of the premiere and cry like we all did when we saw the New Kids On The Block. I guess it's like that for them.
Tonight is a special night for these little Vamps, which I am almost positive they are Vamps in real life too. Or they just totally keep that look. Who knows, whatever. Let's go backstage to the dressing rooms. Edward is getting his face nice and whitened while having and warm glass of Bella's bloodiness. And Bella is sucking on Jacob's neck while Jacob sucks on Edward. It's basically like a really twisted threesome but really all they are doing is getting their blood stained lips perfectly dark red. Bella likes to look like she just got to rough so Edward and Jacob tag team her. And now all is perfected. Out they go......bruises, cuts, and slashes in tow. Now the only thing I just thought of that I am not certain about is if Jacob is a Vamp? Well too bad. He is now. They are all dressed by Jean-Paul Gaultier. They wear black of course. "Elegance is a question of personality, more than one's clothing."-John-Paul Gaultier. They add spattered blood to their pieces.
Okay Okay hold up......I forgot about this but why in Twilight do they get to see the natural light? Shouldn't they all be in the dark. "Interview with the Vampire" is one of my all time favs and I know if they saw light they were dead on the spot. BTW I know NOTHING about this book or movie(besides the fact I was forced to watch it and had a hard time not laughing because most of it was filmed in a cafeteria and Edward flew on trees), so please just try to follow what I would like to believe Twilight is about. Thanks.
Okay so I guess they are special Vamps and get to see daylight. And that makes them about 95% less cool than they already were.
Onto the next scene. Lady Gaga appears in a gorgeous black lace something or another by Dior, showing just her left hand. It is in a leather fingerless glove showing the four DIOR rings. She is walking as though her joints no longer bend(think 3rd scene of Paparazzi video) and screams madly at the paparazzi "I'll follow you until you love me." I just thought she would be a great add to the premiere but instead of having GaGa, 50 Cent was in tow admitting he had no idea what he had gotten his ass into. Seems like 50's publicist told him he was going to see the newest gansta film and it would be good publicity. She's probably going to get shot and fired tomorrow morning. Poor 50. I hope he smoked enough blunts to keep him from actually having to watch the film.
Then I saw Alex, Cullen, Rosalie, Alice, Sam, etc. Ohh and two of my favorite peeps from Glee were there. Lets get back to the Vamps......
Edward must have not given Bella what she needed in the dressing room because she looked like she was about to beat up and suck the bloodiness out of Guiliana. Bella's stated several times how she hates being famous and it sucks. Well my dear don't worry, after that little bratty show that you put on tonight I think everyone will get the hint. What an ungrateful Vamp!
The only reason I watched this premiere was to look out for my T. Swizzle. I really don't want her hanging around those Vamps but at least when she and Jacob get into a crazy WolfVamp style fight she'll have great weird stories to make into songs!!! So boo to Jacob for not bringing her!
Now you are all set free to go get Vampy at the movie theatre on Friday. Have fun, and remember always be safe when getting your blood suckture on. You don't wanna get sour red delight. Go swing on trees and howl at the moon now.
If you yourself or someone you know has an addiction to the Twilight series, there is help out there for you. Call 1-888-sucky-me
Most of the designers that the Vamps wore we all have some of so break out your Burberry, Miu Miu, Theory, BCBG MaxAzria, Oscar de la Renta, D&G, etc.
Watch E! for New Moon specials at 10:30 tonight and on Thursday at 10pm!!!
Peace and Love
S
No comments:
Post a Comment