Wednesday, September 16, 2009

If U Seek Amy


Let's all take a minute to discuss and learn a little more about one of my favorite subjects........the one night stand. It's been around for ages and gives a lot of us great pleasure when you do not want a relationship and you just want a good fun night of sex. Although it is still considered more acceptable for males to have one night stands, women now have also joined in on the trend. I for one am a high believer in the one night stand. But when doing so you have to be very specific on what you are doing and what you want or you are going to end up with a horrific stage 5 clinger!


1. Try to pick out a hottie that looks like he does not want a relationship either. Of course this is very difficult to do but most of the time, the more attractive the guy is, the more he is likely to "be keeping his options open."


2. Get drunk. I mean you just have to if your going to go have hot steamy sex with basically a stranger. Always go to his house so you can get out fast in the morning. You don't know if this guys going to fall in love or not so you cannot have him chilling in your bed all day telling you how pretty you are. It's horrible and akward.


3. This is not your boyfriend. This is just a hot random so don't whip out your pornstyle moves. Actually go ahead and whip out your porn style moves because your hopefully never going to see this person again.


4. Don't be open for any camera action!!!!! This includes camera phones, digital cameras, or the worst.......video taping. Don't get me wrong, when your not in your correct state of mind, sex tapes sound genious. We all have a little porn star in us but the hot one nighter is NOT the time to pursue this kinky dream. Sure it's cool when sex tapes leak in hollywood and it's great publicity but let's be real here; In our small towns that many of us live in, do we really want our best friends parents to discover this. Ahh No!


5. This is the most important rule of all. Morning sex is fine but thats where it stops. No cuddling, no kissing goodbye, no numbers given out(if you have to to just sound nice give out a fake, thats what I have done), never say a thing back when the guy says "I really like you" or "when are we going to see eachother again". Ohh gosh just writing this is making me throw up in my mouth a little. I hate when boys do this!!!


6. And last of all.........get your shit and get the F out before the poor guy can ask you any personal questions. I'm a fabulous liar but even for me when put on the spot like this I tend to faulter. I mean you are still a little tipsy and your brain isn't working correctly yet.


Okay so now that we have got that all clear I hope all you little boys and girls out there can learn from this. They are called one night stands for a reason. 1 time only!!! Get that in your head! You use them, you abuse them, and ya call it a night. And always wear protection for we don't know where any of these hot boys have been and you definetly don't want to be running around with a little one asking you who their daddy is!

Peace and Love
Sarah Nicole

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