Takes an Athlete to Dance, but an Artist to be a Dancer

"When you get on stage, you can be anything."

THE LEGENDARY
MS. SUZANNE FARREL

Love&Ballet

S

Christian Dior Denim Flow

I’m in my Christian Dior with a Veronica Webb
Noemie Lenoir, Chanel, Sessilee Lopez
Arlenis Sosa, Selita Ebanks
If you work with my people, speak that Jourdan Dunn language
Make a phone call, out to Joan Smalls
I wonder how it feel to lower Stone’s walls
Jessica Gomes, yall, I would damage her
And see if Jessica Stam got the stamina
I’m in the car with Leo and the Benz swerve
I heard Bar was friends with Esti Ginzburg
Coco Rocha, Kate Mimosa [Ed. note: We're assuming he means Kate Moss.]
Alessandra Ambrosio, Anja Rubik
Get Olga Kurylenko, tell her I’m very single
Abbey Lee, too — I’m a freak, boo
I’m wylin’, I’m on a thousand
I wanna see Irina Shayk next to Doutzen.

PEACE & LOVE

S

My Only Goal Is Just To Be

With all that's going on these days I really didn't believe I could even think about writing but truthfully it's one of the only things I am thinking about so I'm just going to say F it and write! The escape of reality is needed.

Did any one thing change your life? Something you did, something you saw, something you experienced? I have two things that dramatically changed my life.......okay maybe 3.

The 1st being the 1st time I saw a musical. Okay that's a little lie because I did see Camelot when I was 5 or so, and it is a musical that I LOVE till this day and know all the songs off by heart, but at that time I hate to say it but I think I fell asleep. Oops. The second time I went I was around 7, 8 or 9 I believe. I saw The Phantom of the Opera. As soon as the orchestra began and the curtain rose I knew I would never be the same. The musical took over me in a way I can't describe. Those who are suckers for the stage know the feeling. Unexplainable. I was so deeply touched and affected by The Phantom that it became all I could think about. When not at school or an afterschool activity, I was up in my room practicing and portraying the role of Christine. I went on and grew but The Phantom of the Opera will always have a marking on my soul. I knew that's what I HAD to do. I later went on and performed and saw many musicals. They all touch me but there is one more that had a dramatic effect. RENT. I was obsessed with Rent when it 1st debuted in 1996. The kids that I went to school with and I just thought it was the best thing since ever. And it was in a way. I begged my dad to by me the music and it was a double disc CD so I had to do lot of extra chores haha! What I learned from learning that entire score set me up for life, gave me strength, and such ambition. We would always sing and sing and sing all the songs day after day. Finally in Spring of 1999 I was on my way to NYC for my 1st time with my Drama Club and we went to see RENT. It was all and more that I could have ever wished for. I don't know who has not been able to see the musical yet so I will not give away the plot but the life lessons it teaches are astounding. (DO NOT RENT THE MOVIE! YOU MUST SEE IT ON STAGE!)

My second life changing moment was when I began ballet full time after leaving figure skating. I don't know what happened but I LIVED for ballet. It took me somewhere else completely. I felt like nothing could ever be wrong. I became very competitive with myself. I had a purpose and that was to be perfect. I worked my ass off and did very well for myself. I was going to be a ballerina. That was that. And I truly do believe you know what you want to be at a very young age. I had a change of heart at 18. I never had a "real life" and wanted to know what it was all about. I abandon ballet, taking class only a few times a week. I REGRET THAT DECISION TILL THIS DAY. I just don't know how I could leave something that I knew I was born to do. I miss it more than anything. I loved ballet. I still love ballet. It's horrible knowing that you left the thing that you will always love the most.

I'm not going to go into three because I'm sure most of you know what it was and it's not that bright of a topic so we'll just let it be.

All I want to do is dance and I'm going to make sure that happens. I know being a ballerina is no longer in the books for me but I can still dance my little heart out.

So what has changed your life? Maybe a certain CD really hit you and got you thinking, maybe it was a sport you played and you can't get it out of your head? Whatever it may be use it to your advantage. These things don't make permanent markings on us for nothing. Think about it and run with it. You never know where it may lead you. It might lead you right back to where you should have been all along.

Something to think about now isn't it.....

Peace & Love
S

And Now She's in Me, Always with Me, Tiny Dancer in My Hand

If I had pulled tonight when I was in high school I would have been kicked out. With that being said I'm sure you all are all wondering what happened. Let's start from the beginning.

Today was going very well. I saw the sun for the first time in 45 days, was giggly, and very productive. I actually took the time to stop at Kinkos and make a copy of my unemployment sheet to send into my student load. Easy you may think? No. It took me 8 months to make that copy. They are going to be soo thrilled when they can actually put me on deferment. Anyways! Even this morning I woke up and was soo excited to go to ballet tonight. I was bragging to my friend about how I only had 7 hours till class. Just an FYI.....I am not normally this excited to go to any class but since my funds were low last week I didn't have the money to support my $250 a month ballet addiction.

Moving along. I had a conflict. I was supposed to work at 9. Do I work, no! But If my little Pittsburgh Talent Agency or the Casting office calls I'll usually do it. Well depending who's in the scene. Anyways.....so this was a job that I haven't done in quite sometime. Promotional modeling. Eww I just quivered at the thought of it.(I left that in my early 20's where it should stay!) But basically all you do is stand around, look pretty, and do nothing and make a lot of money. It was for the Black Eyed Peas afterparty. But something inside of me snapped and said "okay no. I'm too old and I need to go to class. LA is in 5 weeks and damnit I will have my développé
back up to my ear by that time!

So I get to PBT(pittsburgh ballet theatre) early cause I needed a new class card then I look at the schedule and they are having no classes the last week of March into a few days of April. So I said F that and said I was leaving for vaca and REALLY needed class that last week of March and I would have to go elsewhere, so they cut me a deal. Don't worry I'm only saving one dollar less on each class. Wow! So barre went great like always but then we moved to centre and that's when the drama occured.

The first exercise in center we were doing a combination of grande battements, tendues, and pirouettes. I fell out of both my my double pirouettes! Who falls out of their pirouettes? Certainly NOT ME! So I already began to get irritated and mad with myself. The next exercise went fine and then we did ADAGIO. Adagio has always and will probably always be my least favorite part of glass. I even hate it at the barre. What adagio is is a sequence of slow and elongated movements. A bunch of arabesques, développés, and pliés. So we started off with a grande plié in fifth. I knew my center was off when I fell out of my turns but I didn't know it was going to lead to this. Now this has happened before and happens often, probably with anyone that's ever been a serious dancer. I fell! Right at the bottom of the damn grande plié! And right onto my bottom! Well at least I had fell onto the my favorite chiffon ballet skirt, but still!

So I got really upset for some reason and moved to the side and leaned on a barre. Okay you sooo do not do that in dance. Dance is still a discipline where you have to bow to your teacher after class. It's a discipline that when you are 3-18 you are screamed at and tortured until you are soo afraid of your teacher that you will literally spend all of your free time torturing yourself so you have a perfect class that night and you can go home with a smile on your face. If you act up you're pulled out of the class and made to watch the rest of your classmates. You can also get written up for bad behavior and thrown out of the academy. It's a crazy art form.

So I guess since I am an adult now I am allowed to say "I do not wish to finish the combination and will wait until adagio is over." That's what I did and although I look back and it seems soo clildish(my teacher,Bob,thinks I am only 20 anyways) and soo bratty. Now I went to PBT when I was young and a refusal of a combination would put you in soo much trouble that you would never want to go to class the next night.


So here is the lesson of today. You fall.....you get right back up and work 15 times harder than you were before. Don't be typical ballet bitch and throw a fit. I will NEVER do that again. Off to torture myself with endless grande pliés in fifth! I'm a really bad perfectionist when it comes to dance. It's my downfall.

Peace & Love

S