Tuesday, November 9, 2010

How Close Were You To Dying? 2 Hours.


Dear Doody,

I made a sweet ass Doody playlist tonight for you to listen to when you get your laptop. And I was thinking about it and I do think even though it may be backtracking if you do decide to make the trip again that we do stop by Detroit. I mean why the fuck not, right? We only live once. So as I was sitting here writing a blog about Taylor Swift, which I'm sure you'd disapprove of anyways haha and I put on The Marshall Mathers LP and Marshall Mathers came on. Man did I start dying laughing. "Man I just don't get it. Last year I was nobody, now I'm selling records." Ohh that Doody is a funny one. 'What are you selling Em? You selling some records? Like in the record store?" And then I just started thinking about you and how some people truly do come into your life with full reason. God, where do I start. You saved my ass. Like big time. And I saved yours right back like a year later. Without eachother I really don't know what the hell our crazy ass's would be doing. Look at us now though. We're kicking it. Out of rehab, staying sober, drinking our Ensure Plus's, thinking rationally. Who the fuck would have ever thought! And the best is you teach me something new everyday. You're my teacher, my angel, my sister, my Doody, my freaking everything. I don't know how God knew how to put us together but damn do I feel blessed. You can read me inside and out on any given day as I can with you. We've learned how to keep the haters out and the positive vibes alive. I cannot even tell you how much you helped me the other day learning about really strong drugs and what they do and how they will try to make others look stupid, people they love, just because they can't face that they are the ones beyond hurt. Everything about M, and just fuck it.......why the fuck do we have to deal with this shit. Why? And I always tell you it's because God knows what he's doing and everything that he puts us through makes us sooooo much stronger than others in the long run. Even if it's not us going through a rough patch there we are helping out others that are and that's half the reason why I love myself and love you so much because we don't give up on people and don't knock em' when they're down. It's a good characteristic to have especially since we don't wanna fall in the same trap as the haters. To all those that "showed me nuthin' but hate, you ran me into the ground/but what comes around goes around, you don't hurt me".....had to throw some No Love in there, but I don't know what I would have done without you at that time. As I can say now that Karma is gonna to really kick there asses very soon, I once couldn't even get up without crying. Both of us though, and you know K told me the other day that we all just get thrown into a circus of dramatic mess because these fuckers don't have anything better to do then bring up those who have gone through shit, well I think both of us are getting stronger everyday about it and one day we are just gonna be able to dust it off our shoulders. Doody even has probs with this you know. But he just fucking goes in his basement theatre and watches Superbad on repeat cause that's what he missed out of when he was high hahahahahahaha!!!!!! "I don't give a damn what you think, I'm doin' this for me" That's what we gotta start doing too. So as I was making this amazing Doody playlist I ran into a BUNCH of live versions of Not Afraid and you're right he is soooo powerful and intense about this song that it actually makes it that much more beautiful to hear and watch him. I wanna have that intensity in me one day. I'm really glad we have him to look up to and be able to listen to his albums and be able to just be retreated to another place. Even on the worst of days. Doody is an angel as well and he has a wonderful angel who saved him now as well. His Doody won't let him fall just like I'll never let you fall and visa versa. No one is going to understand like one word of this letter but that's the beauty of it because it's not meant for others to understand. "Why you think ***** used to call me Doody?

Love,
Doody

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