It's Now My Duty

'One baby to another says I'm lucky to have met you
I don't care what you think unless it is about me
It is now my duty to completely drain you
I travel through a tube and end up in your infection'

-Drain You

Can You Get Me A Green Doll?......cont.

I believe I left off with White Oleander(my second favorite read ever) and tonight I will go over five more Novels, and Auto-Biographies that are "Must Reads" on my list as well. I hope you all are enjoying this and are exciting to begin letting your imagination flow this New Year by starting off with one of these!

MUST READS(cont.)

Go Ask Alice- Anonomous
*Go Ask Alice is one of the first books I ever read on my own. I kept it hidden in my bedroom and I was in 6th or 7th grade. Most of you, I'm assuming, have read, this powerful Diary of a girl who's rebellious ways led her to moving out as a teenager, having many dramatic relationships, living the hippy ways, and always tripping out on Acid. In many ways I loved and still love this book. Alice is somebody who I will never be. And at the time I read it she was everything I was not but dreamed of being. I wanted to be wild and free but instead I was very inhibited and a follower of the rules(minus the music I listened to). Alice reaches the end of the book back at home and clean ready to change her life around just when an old neighbor stops by to say high and gives her a little paper with a smiley face. Just one more time she thought. Well that time was the last for Alice had a bad trip causing her to go insane and kill herself.

Heavier Than Heaven- Charles Cross (also see Cobain Unseen by Charles Cross)
*This book is just one of those books that comes along once and a lifetime and if you were taken by his music, intrigued by his privacy, or/and also shaken that the great genius we all know as Kurt Cobain, had committed suicide at the young age of 27, then this auto-biography will take you through his life step by step. I love this book and have read it literally COUNTLESS times. It's a book that always has to be with me. The way Cross wrote about Kurt's life in such positivity and greatness leaves the reader not being able to book the book down from beginning to end. A must for any music lover. Although Kurt did end his life, you learn that he was in such despair and pain that he could no longer live and provide what was demanded of him. This books takes you through when he was a baby until the end. The story is a tragic one. Not one with many uplifting points. But that was Kurt and he's had "the suicide gene" since he can remember. Best Cobain book out there. My third favorite book ever.

RENT- Jonathan Larson
*To properly get the correct book that i am about to describe let me explain what it looks like so you do not anything but. The book is very long(sort of like a final scrip or score long), it is black but looks very damaged. It is binded by the looks of silver duck tape and painted across the upper center in written RENT in b&w. If you love musical theatre then you have to have this. Anyone who loves musical theatre and is in generation X, like I am, usually placed RENT next to a God like creation. The creator Jonathan Larson had worked on this score for seven year.....never to see it open on Broadway. The story of how Rent became what is is now, which is legendary, is something for you all to read. It's magical and poetic and leaves both tears of sadness and joy. I will not give anymore away. I was lucky enough to see this two times on Broadway and when I think about it I still get chills.

Glamorama- Bret Easton Ellis
*This is the 3rd novel by Bret Easton Ellis on a list of my ten favorite all time books. As you can start to notice, I am just enthralled by his writing. The piece, Glamorama, is extremely hard to explain. I really don't know where to start but "I see specks". A line you'll see often throughout this long masterpiece. A very fucked up book about a guy that is also just as fucked up as the book. All I can say is please read it. You will not put it down and you will most likely have to read each page twice from being so taken off guard. It is worth every minute you spend on it. A twisted, open ended, piece of life seen through the eyes of a NYC yuppie. Written shortly after American Psycho.

Britney: Inside the Dream- Steve Dennis
*Steve Dennis finished this book about a year after Britney Spears' public breakdown. As a young girl and now as a woman I have and will always idolize Britney Spears. I see her, as do a lot of others, as a VERY fascinating individual. But that here is the problem. I remember in high school dancing to Britney with my best friend and saying "ohh I wish I was Britney!" Well be careful what you wish for. Now I see, as an adult, Britney leads a very uncharming life. This book takes you through all of the highs and lows of her entire life so far. She lived under a microscope, barely able to leave her house, has never had a real friend, gotten married twice just to feel the love and security from a man, which she never had from her alcoholic father who is now her Conservator. The whole thing is like one bad dream no one ever wanted to see. Her stunted mental growth along with the many mental issues Britney struggles with, leaves her life in the hands of the court. It's not a way to live. But on the other hand she is our Queen of Pop, our royalty. Please read this book just to understand what a day is like for this woman.

Ahh!!! And we are finished! So those are my top 10 books at the moment and of all time. Please check them out. The best place to purchase these is at www.amazon.com and you won't be disappointed. I promise you.

Peace & Love
S

For the LOVE of Music

As you grow you go through many many phases. I, as well as a lot of others, was heavily influenced by music. Music was my life and music still is my life. Live performances and going to shows and concerts are my favorite and it does alter my life. But as I grew up, the power of music and the icons that created it, all took for for a run. And what a ride it was....
In my childhood there were 3 major music periods that really influenced me. 1st being Madonna and Michael. I didn't really care if I was 3 or 4 cause I had my fake wedding dress on and was rolling around the living room performing "Like a Virgin" like there was no tomorrow. My mother told me that my Dad would practically die everytime I did this. But it's all good because I would switch off to "Material Girl" as well. She was soooo cool and I wanted to be her!

Michael.....well where do I begin? I mean who doesn't remember Michael all throughout their childhood. He was embedding in my head and I was soo intrigued by his dancing. Even though I knew by know I wanted to be a dancer, I will say that I do think Michael had an influence. I even remember the day his double disc, "Michael Jackson - HIStory: Past, Present and Future, Book", came out with "Scream" on it. And man did I worship that CD. I was older than too. Probably like 12/13?? All I can say is that I feel very happy to have grown up when I did(even though I wish it was the late 60's but whatever) because I had REALLY FREAKING AMAZING musical artists to watch and learn from. And yes of course I was OBSESSED with NKOTB, along with every other girl. That was phase/period 1.

The 2nd musical period that greatly influenced me and made me grow as a person was the Alternative Rock/Grunge phase in the early-mid 90's. This is still the music I listen to now. I don't know what it was about it or if it was just how just insanely talented these musicians were, the lyrics, the whole package. It even changed fashion at the time. I never shopped anywhere but the Goodwill for a good 3-4 years. The time I am speaking of is a time that I'm sure all of you remember greatly as well. The time Kurt Cobain ended his life, Billy Corgan told us the 'world is a vampire', Bush had us screaming 'breathe in, breathe out, Weezer entertained us with the unforgettable video to 'Buddy Holly', NIN had us come 'closer'(that video was banned and only played after midnight on MTV. Do you remember that?), Hole with Courtney Love(still the queen of rock) having us grieve over Kurt to the album 'Live Through This', and all the while we were jumping up and down, banging our heads, in these things called Mosh Pits.

I do believe that after this music died in a way. Can you really think of anything that can even try to compare now? It's sad in a way. I wish I would live it all, all over again. BTW, my favorite song ever, up until this day and probably until I die, is Nirvana's 'Dumb'.

Then there was a pause and nothing really great was happening. We got into rap with Biggie, 2Pac, Puff Daddy, Snoop and Dr. Dre. They were the kings now and had a HUGE influence not only on us kids but on the whole nation.

Gangs began again in a big way, Biggie got shot, 2Pac got attacked by Suge Knight and his fellow Crips(no one will accept the fact that he is dead so I'll just say 'he went away for a long time'), Puff daddy changed his name 45 times, and Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg made an album that would forever change the rap world, "The Cronic". This had really not to much of any impact on me, but I mean who didn't listen to Biggie, 2Pac, and Puffy? You'd be lying if you hadn't. Now what period I want to get to is the late 90's.

All the sudden pop music came back. And it came back in a huge way. Boy bands came back. We had N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson(well she tried), and the pop princess herself....Ms. Britney Spears. You either liked N'sync or the Backstreet Boys. Couldn't like Both. It was either Nick from BSB or Justin from N'sync. Had to be loyal to your pop imaginary bf. I think 98 degrees was up for grabs but there were some chicks who really dug Nick. I found this group of 5 guys called N'Sync singing and dancing away on the Disney channel one evening. It was love at 1st sight. Not only with their music but also with Justin. I claimed him. Hahahahaha omgoodness this sounds sooo silly but in high school this was important stuff.

I threw in a videotape and taped the rest of the show. It believe it was right afterwards a girl came on my age with the same type of Disney Special. It was Britney Spears at 17. After that I spent my days and nights learning all of the choreography of N'Sync as well as Britney's. They MAJORLY changed the direction I wanted to go in the dance world. Up until then I had been studying about 25+ hours a week to become a ballerina, now I was seeing a whole new thing and it was a blast and sooooo much different than the world of ballet. And although I strived on the pain ballet gave me and the control it gave me and the competitiveness to always be the best, I made this 'pop dancing' thing something fun on the side to do while not in the studio. Well and then I fell in love with it and decided I wanted to switch my main technique over to this kind of dancing. I began looking for how to get into this and discovered within a day or two basically all the auditions came out of LA a small portion out of NYC.

Well that wasn't an option at 17 so I just kept practicing and learning each new piece of choreography until it was perfect, just like I thought Britney was. So there we all were, these teenage girls going to every pop concert we could and longing to meet our favorite boy band bf. It was actually a really fun time. A really fun time. But it REALLY changed my views on careers and dance. I still don't know if that is a bad or good thing. I think about the choices I made during that period all the time. Also in this time, a role model to me and possibly the best rap artist in history, Eminem came out. That's what the boys were into at the time. They loved him.




P&L
S

Start the Car and Take Me Home

This has been one of the most irritating days ever so I really need to find a way to relax at the end of it all, which I am going to make 10pm. It wasn't just one thing about today that made me want it to pretty much be over as soon as I practically awoke, but it seemed that after one thing was smoothed over another problem erupted leaving me thinking of guns and a shooting range. BTW.....I've never done the whole shooting thing before. Does it relieve stress? Now, although I am not currently suffering from any kind of crazy stress/anxiety/panic that I do sometimes, I truthfully just need to chill the f out from the pandemonium I believe the day carried. I have a few tips on how to do this. Usually work for me so next time you feel like going insane and hitting up a shooting range, you should totally give this method a go!

1. Grande Vanilla Latte with an extra shot of Espresso from Starbucks. It can heal any type of pain you are feeling. I've given these lovers up but I still treat myself once a month instead of 3 times a day. They do cost $4.35 I believe....insane I know. I love my coffee at night so if this isn't for you then do a decaf. Avoid alcohol.

2. Bath. A longggg Bath. A long bath with latte in hand and your favorite candles lit around you.

3. Music. (Okay this is starting to sound like I am planning a pleasurable night in for 2. And you know what some of this you can totally include with your significant other, but if your like me after a dayyyy sometimes you just want the music to be the only thing speaking to you.) Tonight I am going to play "Just Tonight" on repeat by the Pretty Reckless. I posted the video last night so if you haven't checked that out yet, do so. Very relaxing/kick ass at the same time.

4. Body Butter. A good body butter can dramatically change the tense level in your muscles I believe. And you feel so fresh and so clean clean! I use and love "Blood Orange and White Pepper by Bliss". It's divine.

5. Now light up all the candles in your room. And only use dim lighting.

6. Music once again must be played. I usually put on the same album I was listening to and sometimes(aka all the time) the same song. And tonight it will be, like above, "Just Tonight" by the Pretty Reckless. If you don't have a particular song or album in mind at the very moment you can ALWAYS do "Nirvana Unplugged". Does the tick everytime like clockwork.

7. Write. I have about 30 notebooks laying around with poems and lyrics I write. I find it relaxing and a great way to get out everything I'm feeling at the time. I was just writing a friend last night and told him that for some reason I have been writing a ton of love songs lately. Like happy in love, love songs. It's my hopeless romantic coming out. If you don't like to write then reading always does the trick as well. Try to make it a point not to turn to like the "Jersey Shore" to calm your crazy ass down. All television does is hype me up and make me want to shoot the TV. Wow....it's a good thing I don't own a gun.

8. Lavender Oil. It's a wonderful oil that you can place on your wrist, on a small pillow that you keep in your bed, or just anywhere you want it. I learned this trick at my favorite hippy store about four years ago. It's supposed to be a great way to lower your anxiety and bring on the calmness. It's great and I definitely highly suggest it. One of my favorites that I am currently using is "L'Occitane's A.O.C. Lavender Essential Oil".

And now it's time to lower your eye mask and drift into beautiful and haunting dreams for at least 8 hours. By the morning you should feel brand new and super fine. Take my word. Okay off to Starbucks I go!

Peace & Love
S

I Fake It So Real, I am Beyond Fake

So sorry for the lack of postage but we got a new computer and I've just kind of been staring at it for a couple days. I'm not to much into change, especially computer wise. I barely knew how to work the last one and now this one is HUGE and flat screened, connected to a fax scanner and printer thingy, and well it's just a tad to much. Not a fan! But anyways I have been running around in this horrible weather(can I please get some rain around here!), worked on One for the Money(almost died from heat exhaustion but really fun set and Ms. Heighl is gorgeous), and listening to a ton of awesome music. With that said I tried to make a favorite list of my top ten songs for you guys but it ended up looking like a Nirvana tribute album but with like 50 songs hahahaha. So I redid it and obviously had a really hard time. I'm sure you know by now that good music is the love of my life. So here it is and if you guys don't know these amazing works of art please go on And Who Are You Again's YouTube link http://www.youtube.com/user/andwhoareyouagain and try them out. I don't disappoint. I feel a little DejaVu coming on though. Did I just do this list??? Ohh F it. I'm doing it again!

Favorite Songs of All Time(sort of but not really in order)

by And Who Are You Again?

1.) Dumb by Nirvana

2.) Violet by Hole

3.) Xxplosive by Dr. Dre

4.) Something in the Way by Nirvana

5.) Paranoid Android by Radiohead

6.) Slave 4 U by Britney Spears

7.) Lithium by Nirvana

8.) Honey and the Moon by Joseph Arther

9.) Imagine by John Lennon

10.)Stan by Eminem

11.) Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins

13.) Territorial Pissings by Nirvana

14.) Exit Music by Radiohead

13.) Doll Parts by Hole

15.) Strange & Beautiful by Aqualung

16.) One by U2

17.) DejaVu by Eminem

18.) Still Dre by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg

19.) Wonderwall by Oasis

20.) Bullet with Butterfly Wings by Smashing Pumpkins

21.) Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley

22.) Breathe on Me by Britney Spears

23.) Float on by Modest Mouse

24.) Billie Jean by Michael Jackson

25.) Aneurysm by Nirvana

26.) All Apologies by Nirvana

27.) Beautiful by Eminem

28.) Drain You by Nirvana

29.)Tonight Tonight by Smashing Pumpkins

28.) Like a Prayer by Madonna

29.) Penny Lane by The Beatles

30.) Hello by Lionel Richie

And just to make it off I do have a 31st.....31.) Drug Ballad by Eminem

....just one more.....32.) Yesterday by The Beatles

Peace and Rock
S