Did you ever find it really strange that we are all pretty much attracted to the same thing that we found cute in kindergarten? I know my kindergarten crush was possibly the cutest thing you could find but even at that age he had the bad boy/womanizer qualities about him. One week he was my bf and we we're holding hands and showing everyone what this love bug was really about. But.......as the kindergarten rule goes, that only lasted so long. Before I knew it he was holding hands in the playground with the huge tramp in our class! OHH how could he and what did I do. I was totally the cutest in our half day kindergarten and definitely dressed the best by far. Why me!
Well what I found out, not until after college unfortunately, that it wasn't me by any means, it was the icky blah I was always attracted to. Now I still consider myself to have the best in taste, even when it comes to the guy department, but one day 5 years ago my girlfriend Bekah sent me a card. It stated "Maybe this time we'll get over our bad boy phase" Ohh if it was just a phase, what a great thing thing that would be.......but to me it's a curse and instead of getting better it just gets worse. There have been the handful of nice guys that I had dated. The perfect guy, more intelligent than the world, always dressed to impress(well more like dressed to always be able to put on that perfect 1st impression which they are so good at), and so loving and adoring of you that you will feel suffocated even when they are not with you. These are what I call .....well probably the right ones to be with and get married to. If you want an itinerary of what is going to happen to you for the rest of your life.........and if you're looking for trips to Vegas and going to see tons of Burlesque shoes....well hey that's your fault. Now you get to go cook dinner, receive an ohh so NOT naughty piece of lingerie every now and then, a finally a graceful wardrobe filled with Ralph Lauren(and not the pieces you see on Gossip Girl).
Now it seems when it comes to love there is never going to be a win win in this situation. I personally cannot wait to start having children. Or so I always think until I hear one screaming at a restaurant I'm in and I would like to tell the baby off. I have no idea why i just mentioned kids because were going right back to my probs here. Kids would be way too much appreciated by the nice guys that I prefer to steer clear of. Now I am still kinda stuck in Kindergarten when it all comes down to it. I'm still used to be in hot steamy obsessive one of a kind love that usually last around 21 days. The kind that everyone gave up on a while ago. But I still believe. And here is why. I don't want ANYONE to change for me and with that I would NEVER want anybody expect me to change. We all are the way we are for a reason. And another reason why the divorce rate is up. You have to find someone you love from head to toe and never lets you have a moment doubt on why you took this chance. Because love is a chance. And don't you still want to be sooo in love when you are older that you are sitting and a room giggling about how lucky you are to have met this person and have them in your life? Ohh and that's just another thing......if you don't laugh literally 3/4th of the date, please just call it quits.
So I'm guessing my problem isn't that bad by any means. I'm a girl that knows exactly what she wants and although it may be the wrong thing to others, "losers" to snobs, or "Sarah-what in the hell are you doing?" then at least I'll know I'm truly happy. Whether it be forever or for a few months. Let everyone be themselves! Unfortunately that goes out to all you girls who are ALWAYS trying to transform yourself into something your not so you will find a new boyfriend. Ohh and please let them know of your past. Are you going to get married on a huge lie even if you are that much in love with the person. No. Love is truth and if they don't love you for your dreams, your past(who cares how deep you have to dig. That past has actually made you into who you are today, your laugh, and what you want your future to look like....his his.....but the both of you. Everyone is met to find true love and hey I guess I love bad bays haha. I know I'll be happy though just do to the fact that I don't judge people.
Peace&Love
S
*photos above all dedicated to Kate Moss and Pete Doherty(my fav hot mess of a couple ever)
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