So I had a really shitty day. I woke up at 7am drenched in sweat with a nasty panic attack. It was one of the worst ones that I have had in quite sometime. I have no idea why or what made it come about but it's just another disorder I've been battling since I was 21. I've accepted it as a part of my daily life and take the steps and measures to keep them on the low and stable. But until this evening this fucking panic attack wasn't coming to an end. Although I am still shaky and feel numbness in my back, I am beginning to feel better and with these few steps I'll teach you how to deal with anxiety or full blown panic attacks for you to have a better understanding and to get through them.
Rule #1 You're Not Going To Die (it's the automatic common response since your body goes directly into fight or flight mode)
Rule#2 Breathe as deep and as much as you can. Try to close your eyes and realize what is happening is something that you've dealt with hundreds of times before. You can get through this.
Rule#3 Don't start popping the Klonopin/Valium immediately. Use your exercises you were taught through your psychiatrist, therapist, theories your fellow friends that suffer as well believe to work, and just keep breathing. The only one that works for me is the breathing one and sometimes that doesn't even work so I just have to get through the day minute by minute, hour by hour. It's my life. I'm used to it.
Rule#4 Do not sit and stare at a wall all day thinking about it. You will not improve by any means. Let out a good cry(they are very scary), call your best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend, and try to eat something even though you feel like you are going to throw up.
Rule#5 Help someone else is is a little worse off then you today. It will give you something to focus on and helping out another friend in need that is going through something as well, always feels rewarding and comforting. (this is when I slightly started to feel better today)
Rule#6 If you've been to Rehab or Outpatient or maybe you know someone who knows exactly how you feel because they've been there. Get it out and talk. I have 2 very important people in my life, one who I met in rehab, and another that has been a good friend of mine for years and has been in rehab and through all of this as well. Call one and get it all out. As much as we LOVEEEE our BFF's and as much as they try to understand, sometimes it will rather harm us then help us to put everything on them when they are not fully educated, even though I know they try their hardest.
Rule#7 Go through all the shit that NO ONE gets, what your feeling, why can't you pinpoint why you are feeling this way, laugh about old terror stories of past, get it out how much you would like for someone to really just live in your life for 24 hours, just for that one day, one how much they could learn about you and how getting through the day is a process, not a simple task. I did this in a 3 hour convo with my closest friend from rehab. We both felt unbelievably better after this!
Rule#8 Feel blessed and thankful for what you have been given. God only gives us as much as we can handle and builds us strength. In the long run, everyone suffers from something, whether they let it be known or not. Stay strong. Be a role model. I would never be who I am today without everything I've been though. I see people and life in a whole different spectrum and accept everyone as who they are. Never judge.
Rule#9 Through drugs and alcohol may seem like the best instant treatment, it's not in the long run. Try as hard as you can to stay away from popping those extra pills or drinks you may have used to use to get by. I am currently sober and have been for the better part of the last 10 months. It's been the best thing I have ever done. Ever. But yes at this time you can take your Klonopin/Valium/Xanax....whatever your are prescribed from your doctor for your disorder. Keep it at your regular dose. If you truly need the medicine, tripling your dosage isn't going to do a thing because you actually need it. You will not get a high.
Rule#10 Pop in the Album that comforts you most in this situation. Tonight, da da dada.......it's Eminem!!!! HUGE surprise I know but my Doody comforts me more than anyone in these times. His albums speak to me in large volumes and no one can replace him in my eyes for being my role model through the addictions, depression, the anxiety, and well you just gotta listen to him. I also though consider myself a huge role model to myself. I've been doing pretty fucking good. Mishaps happen. It's life.
Always believe and have hope. You can get through this. Sometimes there are long detours and sometimes you can find instant relief. Just find whats best for you. I've been dealing with all this since I was 16 and still have no permanent solutions to any of it. I wish I did. Keep the faith <3
P&L
S
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