I think you can probably get from my blogs is that I am very unorganized(not in a bad way but you'll see when I start), have obsessions like literally obsessions where I HAVE to have something (this ranges from a high end cardigan, all the way to bf's) and then I'll usually be done with it or them but some obsessions stick around(enter Britney Spears), and my addictive personality doesn't always come in pill form but rather in something innocent.....like music. A great way of displaying these obsessions and addictions is to show you just what I found cleaning my car tonight. But you also can probably see that I love ALL music and find the beauty in all of it through my lovely CD Car Collection. One of the biggest hot messes you'll ever see.
Now when you think of my car collection what do you exactly think of? Well you thought right, it is Brintey Spears. Now when you see a mixed CD with no clues of what might be on it, what do you think? Britney yes, Eminem yes, Kanye yes, Kurt yes, Radiohead sure.......but we are missing one major obsessive compulsive quality to these mysterious blank CD's. They only play one song, on repeat, for about 6-7 times. And that's it. I have a girlfriend who thinks this is absolutely ridiculous but hilarious at the same time. But if you think about it, everyone has those days where you just wanna listen to one particular song and why have to hit repeat all the time ya know!
Alright so what did we find so far:
Britney Spears-4 cd's minus the Britney and In the Zone albums adding a road trip Brit mix which is to die for. And I would like to know who in the hell stole my In the Zone album???? It is the ONLY CD besides my Kanye that is missing. That's just wrong!
Relapse by Eminem-I love this CD with all my heart and soul. It usually comes in with me at night so I can keep a watch on that!
Michael Jackson Number #1's-RIP the King of Pop
Nirvana-We got Bleach all the way down to the Nirvana Master Mix that I, of course, mastered myself. It's phenomenal. For a rainy day though I like to pop in MTV UNPLUGGED and listen to "Something in the Way" on repeat.
Snoop and Dr. Dre The Cronic 2001-No explanation needed. Prob in my top 5 albums for sure.
Rise Aagainst-You prob don't know this band but they kick ass and I haven't heard any of their new stuff but I still jam to my old stuff.
Taylor Swift-I had a MAJOR obsession with Fearless. I ran that shit out until my cd player just wouldn't play it anymore. But don't worry I had backups. At least like 6 of them. I'm making a new one though because I think they are damaged from overuse. When I say I ran it into the grounds I mean literally listened to nothing else but Fearless for a good like 5 months.
This is about to get really really uncool of me. So if you don't wanna think I'm not cool then don't read the following. I warned you!
Jessica Simpson
Kelly Clarkson
Mandy Moore
Xtina Aguilera
American Idol Season 2 (I wore the hell out of this in Summer '03 and I also made all my dancers dance to it. Ohh man)
Hillary Duff
Justin Timerlake-4 mixes but no real CD's. Something crazy must have went down because we know I love my future sex/love sounds.
Nick Lachey What's left of Me-Did I seriously buy this!
There are a lot of unknown CD's and the first two I popped in I was laughing too hard to even attempt to see what was on the others.
CD 1-Alanis Morrisete "You Outta Know" 6 times in a row. As crazy as it sounds I know exactly why I needed this in the car that day and the following days. During the Circus Tour, Britney would do random things, and this was a cool one that she pulled off well. She covered "You Outta Know" and as soon as I found out I just had to make a CD with that song on it on repeat. It made me happy.
CD 2-TRACK LIST(this is great! and I can tell it's my getting ready to go out and party mix '07)
1. Britney-Gimme More
2. JT-SexyBack
3. JT-My love
4. Britney-Gimme More
5. Britney-I'm a Slave 4 U
6. Kanye-Stronger
7. Britney-Gimme More
8. 50ct-Who the hell knows
9. JT-Love Stones
10. Britney-Gimme More
That is one sick track list!! As you see I had to get Britney in there a lot. Obviously this is before Blackout was released(Best Album EVER) because it only showcases Gimme More. And it shows how awful this CD is. I like how Kanye and 50 are just thrown on.
And continuing....Random Mix Aug '09. What do you think random mix '09 means???
Well yeah you're wrong. It's definitely not a CD with songs on it that actually came out in Aug. '09. It more or likely a mix that I made of my favorite artists and has nothing to do with the year of 2009. I like to make mixes for my friend Bekah so we can listen to my stuff when were in the car in Charlotte. (Ohh let's listen to that CD I made you. You're going to love it Bek). And it will be dated and signed by yours truly with the same songs I put on the mix I mad her 2 months ago. It's pretty bad that I'll mark it 2010 and it will be from like circa 1991 Nevermind era. hahaha!
I'm really good at making "Love Mixes". My best friend and I started this business in 2001 and I keep it going till today. The purpose of the mix never changes. It's basically a cry and dub in his name kinda thing. It's really mature. Always starts off with Aalyia's One in a Million followed by some David Gray, Brian McKnight(Anytime. Best depressing love song out there!), Gavin Degraw(Ohh do I despise who I would sing this about! What a waste of 8 months!), Coldplay-Colorblind(which may be the saddest song on earth, 2 very specific songs from Love and Basketball, Janet Jackson, Jeff Buckley, Ryan Adams.....etc.
WHOA flashbacks and not pleasant ones. I mean it's no wonder why we were always crying, these songs actually make you cry. On cue practically.
Ohh the love sweat and tears I wasted on....well I can't call them idiots, besides a few, and I can't call it wasted either. Every relationship that you go through makes a huge difference in your life and whether it turn out good or bad, you learn. And also look back on the goodtimes and how happy you once were. There're a mid point between love and hate and you can get stuck there but if you really want something you have to just go for it. And the hatred for this person is just spilling out because deep down you know your life would have never been the same without them. Just tell them. What the hell do you have to lose. Absurdly nothing and whoever out age is afraid of rejection you just really need to work on your self confidence. 1 life and it's really short.
I'm going to try to cheer up now after that mess. Secret Albums I sweat:
The 5th Dimension-Greatest Hits on Earth
RENT-I have 1 and a half copies of this in my car just in case I would be missing Act I or II. This music changed my life and led me down the wonderful road of Musical Theatre and I'll even "Bible" this that it is play VERY frequently.
Luther Vandross-Greatest Hits. Superstar is just beyond greatness.
Lionel Richie-The Definitive Collection. Can't get much better than that.
We're going to skip forward to 2 very obsessive and addictive behaviors just with these precious little examples. Enter Eminem and Glee.
Glee-I have about 5-6-7-8 mix CD's that I made on my own. "Defying Gravity" is ALWAYS on every mix 3 times exactly(I love that song), I bought my 1st Glee CD in May-Glee Season 3: The Showstoppers. Beyond fantastic. I think I'm just a really old soul cause Glee covers some of the best timeless musical pieces ever made and I get into it and then I'm looking at the lyrics memorizing and then I'm just gone. It's definitely therapy for me.
Now onto my boy toy Eminem. I promise I won't go into this like I usually do but yeah the kid is basically my life right now and if that's what is helping me get through each day then let me be. Hate all you want but I know I'm not the only one who's being helped by his words and daily struggles, and how hard this all is. He stepped forward right when....I heard "Beatiful" last summer:
'I'm just so fucking depressed
I just can't seem to get out this slump
If I could just get over this hump
But I need something to pull me out this dump'
Then came Recovery, which is like a miracle. Maybe not to all of you but I bet a lot of you. You may have not even hit your low yet so here's a good preview.
Going Though Changes:
'I feel like I'm losing control of myself, I sincerely,
I apologize if all that I sound like, is I'm complaining,
But life keeps on complicating, an' I'm debating,
On leaving this world, this evening, even my girls,
Can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it,
But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty,
When inside, I'm dying, I am finally realizing I need help.
I can't do it by myself, too weak, 2 weeks I've been having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,
Around with the idea, of ending the shit right here.'
Point here is that Relapse has been played in the car, on the ipod, blasting in my room, and it just basically hasn't left my side since it's release. I'm in love with it and I think it's a good obsession. I'm learning and relating as I deal. You just deal.
This though is a classic Em peice and is not to be reckon with.
Peace & Love,
S
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