On 8/29/2010....

It was the night of the Emmy's in my soon to be new home! The fashion was fab and temperature was hot. Let's take a look at my favorite cast of Glee(which may I mention was nominated an outstanding 18 noms, January Jones, and umm yeah that's pretty much who I liked haha. I'm VERY picky.



Let's start off with my girl Lea Michelle, aka, Rachel Berry from Glee. Were starting with her because she was my favorite by far. She rocked out the navy(always been my favorite color to do a great look with), organza tulle(my favorite fabric), ruffles(I have ruffles on everything. I can't live without them), and Oscar de la Renta. Add those 4 things together and you are probably going to get an amazing dress and screams my name. And She did! Stunning!!!!! Look at the top of the dress as well. See that beautiful intertwining sweetheart neckline. And the fabric ohhhh it's just heavenly. As soon as I saw her I screamed "OMG did you see that ruffle starting at the butt with the dress in complete Organza Tulle!" My family thinks I am nuts and I sure am when it comes to fashion. So take a GOOD look at Lea and remember this dress because this is simple perfection.

Perfection! LOVE!

Moving on to one of the hottest men alive in my eyes(we all know my type. dark skinned, dark eyes, and HOT HOT HOT!) This equals Mark Salling. Isn't he just a doll! He's even better when he is rocking his Mohawk that he grows for filming season of Glee. And he plays the guitar. And.....I could go on and on but I'll stop. Okay just look don't touch!

Jayma Mays, aka, Emma from Glee was actually the 1st person I saw and started jumping up and down(yes I do this when I see a fabulous dress). Gorgeous, stunning, flawless! She totally rocked it in her Navy, ruched with dramatic ribbon accented gown done by Burberry's Prorsum Collection. If you don't know about this line, get to know. It's the runway collection for Burberry and every piece is outstanding and unlike any other line. 1000 thumbs up!

Now this is my last but always my favorite girl at the Emmy's, January Jones. I won't say that I liked this dress over last years, but it is runway futuristic glamor. It's to die basically. By Versace and in a bright metallic blue. I love. But her look for the Golden Globes this year is actually one of my favorite looks done by anyone who has walked the red carpet. She did a Black Lanvin dress with a Satin Black Headpiece/Wrap. 1st off, Lanvin, almost always does all my favorite dresses recently so it's not a suprise to me that I love this. But it's also just absolutely freaking gorgeous, sleek, perfection. She has a perfect body for clothes so everything looks pretty glam on her! LOVEEEE!

*Not to go unnoticed ......Kim Kardashian you looked so pretty and chose the perfect gown for your figure, Guiliana I think I would have picked differently for your body type, and Dianna Argon....you're so stunning nothing can really make you look bad. I wasn't in love with your dress just because I'm not a lace person but I did love the mauve and black together and you're just adorable!



Peace & Fashion

S

I'm Like Still, Y'all Don't Know Me, Shit!

Ohh lovely blog how you've grown over the year. Went from 0 to over 1,000 peeps now. Thank you sooo much from the bottom of my heart and Happy Fuckin' New Year!!!


So let's reflect. That's what you do when a new year begins.....right? Well let's try it. 2010 was an okay year. Nothing great. Nothing horrible. Just okay. When I began 2010, I believe I was a little down. Nothing tragic or anything I've felt in the past but just a little down. Cause=Unknown. Going into this year I don't feel down at all, but actually very joyful and positive. I've learned a lot this year I guess you can say. And, once again, I had to grow very thick skin and fight. Something I'm beginning to get used to. My trust has been horribly battered and I have a hard time opening up to people now. You'll see why in a little. Let's begin with the okay things......


I was very honored to be in and watch two of my best friends get married. Those days were just shining and everything was magic! I am that bridesmaid that will cry the ENTIRE ceremony. NEVER thought I would be that girl. We all know my thoughts on weddings and how I am just not the big wedding type, but ohh to see my best friends do it is just a breath taking experience. All of the showers, and bachlorette party's, and vaca's kept me pretty busy. And that's what I portrayed....a busy busy girl. But in all reality, I was anything but busy. I was actually overwhelmingly bored. Bored to death. I wanted to move, but to where I didn't know. DC, Charlotte, Baltimore, had all been on the list for a while but I never LOVED those cities. I loved the people in them but didn't feel that "now this is for me" ever while I was in them. I may even like Pittsburgh, PA better and we all know how I feel about Pittsburgh and how it gives me the chills and nausea when i am in it! So I did something really random. I called up(ok not really hahaha. I facebook messaged) an old friend from high school and we started talking a lot and I had always wanted to go to Los Angeles; So I picked up and left for a couple weeks in Southern Cali. Never thinking I would die for it(I'm more of a NYC girl), well I did. I knew instantly almost that thats where I wanted to move. Everything there was slower. Everybody was soo artistic and out there. Days of the week and time didn't matter. And the best was you can be at Fred Segal then a hop skip and jump away be looking at the ocean. It was HEAVEN! It was me.



(The paragraph that follows is written for those who have been or are in recovery from substance abuse. Bless you and please know there is an end if you want it bad enough.)

I couldn't go to L.A. right away and am actually leaving in 12 1/2 days from now as I am writing this haha. My summer move was pushed to the side when my father was in a horrible motorcycle in the beginning of May. It broke me. Literally killed me. And although in the long run he would be fine(and he is!!!), I couldn't come to terms and deal with it. I was prescribed a drug in April called Adderall. I'm sure you all have tried that once or twice if you had gone to college or if you have a touch of ADHD like I do. Now up until that point I really hadn't done much with it and had rarely even taken the full recommended dosage each day. I did not want to start relying on a drug everyday to help my concentration but if you know anything about adderall you know it's just a form of speed and the high you get it wonderful and very addictive. And if you know me, I have a high tendency to be drawn to addiction and have had problems in the past with this as well. And then my Dad and then there I was bad to my old habits. To get through the two and a half months my dad was in the hospital and rehab, I went right back to my comfort zone of numbing myself. I did though, surprisingly, never returned to drinking alcohol. I had quit drinking in February and that is one thing I was not going to give in to. So I went and went and went and went and went until one day in August, after being strung out for almost 5 months, I just dropped. My electrolytes were out of whack due to my dehydration and lack of food. I had lost a good 10 pounds by this point. And I was severely exhausted. I only slept 2-4 hours a night during all this. I wanted this damn drug away from me. It was ruining my life. So I tried to quit. Lasted 3 days. Tried again a couple weeks later. Lasted 3 days. Tried again and tried and tried. As much as I hated this pill and what it did, I also was madly in love with it and could not quit it on my own. Let me also mention that I I also had every side affect in the book but don't worry that wasn't stopping me. I DID NOT want to go back to rehab so I became REALLY fucking strong. I gave the bottle, and paper prescriptions to friends. Hiding only about 3 in my wallet which I took later on that evening. I stayed up like usual (it was soo bad by bedtime was around 10am and if I had things to do in the morning I would just not sleep at all) and then finally surrendered. 6 days of miserableness, crying, sweating, puking, and being completely lethargic.......I woke up at one point and I knew it was over and I was gonna be okay. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks for weeks afterwards. I don't know who and who hasn't gone through an addiction but your free when it's over. I look at it now like a horrible dream. My sleeping still isn't back to normal and I am almost back to my old weight. All I can say is that we all deal with hard times differently. Never judge anyone because you have no idea what that person may be going through. Special thanks to my friends and parents, especially Doody.



Did I say we were going to start with the good stuff? Humm good stuff......ummm well I got really awesome new Prada sunglasses, but mainly my father making it through this accident is the best "good stuff" I got for you! Other things I was "okay" with in 2010 include Eminem's "Recovery" album, T. Swizzles "Speak Now" album, and the "When You're Strange" movie about the Doors. Those were some good things. Also the song "Runaway"(not the AWFUL "movie"), by Kanye West. There is someone who came to me to ask for help and I am still learning. Sometimes my advise isn't that great but it works and together we are getting though something and I love him. My friends, of course, played a huge part in 2010. I give my all to them. They are priceless treasures surrounded by shining stars and I just wish they could be with me at all times. We may be far apart but distance sure never made us grow apart for any of us. Love you all. Doody, You can speak on my behalf through anything and be completely correct. That's how well you know me. I am soo grateful and wonder how we got this far without each other??? You know me like no one else. I am soo happy to have the honor of your friendship. Let me see.....other "okay" things??? Well thanks to all the amazing musicians out there. I couldn't live without music. Alright that's about that.



Unfortunately, once again, I had and toughen up. I am still, till this day devastated that people who you thought you knew so well, aren't at all what they seemed to be. I hate the fact that I have to now not be free spirit with everyone and can't let everything out to everyone. Even the people that you trusted most. I had my trust, and my heart horribly battered as a handful of my "so called good friends" turned on me. I can't describe the type of pain that the words that were said to me and the people that did this and how broken they made me. I am now very weary of who I trust. It's sad. I never used to be like this. But wow after being backstabben from a group of girls in your hometown of Pittsburgh because of rumors and gossip, I learned they weren't even worth my friendship. Soo immature that not a one of them had or have ever even called me to tell me the TRUTH on why this all went on. It still pains me but I know that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE OR IS JUST BLATANTLY MEAN TO THEM UNLESS THEY HAVE SERIOUS JEALOUSY ISSUES WITH THEM. So in return I got stronger, skin got a little thicker, and am honored to be your topic of conversation. As much as I wish I would forget you all, I never will, and as much as I love you all and that will never change, what did change is the way I look at you. You used to be soo beautiful and kind to me. Now you all look like unattractive, evil, kneiving, selfish souls. Something I would never want to be or be surrounded by. And as many tears I still waste on the hurt you brought and still bring to me, I do know, in the long run, WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND. BIG TIME!

That's my 2010 and that's why I am pretty happy it has finally come to an end. To my people-I love you all soo much you have no idea. To my enemies-haha thanks for what you did. You actually made me a hell of a lot stronger and I will never let people like you into my life ever again. I'm better than this.

Peace & Happy 2011 my darling readers!!!
S

Work it, Bitch!

I'm absolutely thrilled I have a minute to sit down and write. I utterly exhausted from dancing all day but it's good exhaustion. I'm soo happy to be back at doing what I love and what I know. I gave this up for a few years and I was miserable. I didn't give it up because I quit, I gave it up because I was very depressed and couldn't focus on something so important. Well I'm back and better than ever(minus my right développé which isn't quite up to my ear yet so I'm mad but I'll prob sit here all night and make it be!). I'm going to nyc on Sunday for a few days of auditions(aka my vaca from the blog). Super excited! And then I just found a few other things that I want to audition for, if I happen to not get a job next week, in Feb! Dancing is like the best high I can get. We'll actually performing is the best high I think you can ever get. All that energy you have waiting in the wings to go out on stage and then just tearin' it up, its fucking amazing!

So here's what it's all about. What the hell do you want to do? There are soo many amazing things to do with dance besides teaching, which everyone knows I hate but I did do it for 3 years. Just think about NYC, LA, and Vegas alone how many dancers are needed a year. Broadway, off Broadway, Tour back up dancers, Show dancers, Dancers on tv shows, and the list goes on and on. It's crazy!!! And I bet if you looked into it you could find that your passion is out there too but you just have to say "fuck it" and get out there! Life's short. All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them-Disney. I finally feel again as if I were 21 and all I wanted was to drop out of school and go to nyc! There is NO need for me to ever go back to a cube. And if I can do this, you guys can do this too! I promise!!! Last year at this exact time I was probably in DBT class locked up in Cope. Dreams do and can come true. One of mine has already and that was to be happy so I think this next one should be a piece of cake. And no matter what.......NEVER GIVE UP! And don't EVER SETTLE.

Now there is one person who has a dream but I don't really see it happening. Ms. Heidi Montag has recently stated that her dream is to be a pop star. Wow Heidi that's one of my dream to but I know I don't have the vocals. You sing like me......just ok. It's not good enough. And PLEASE never say you want to be like Britney Spears. You will NEVER be like Britney. Britney, for one thing, is all natural. Unlike you who had 15 plastic surgeries and look non human. Secondly Britney Spears is a pop icon and has been since she was 17. And bitch can perform like there is no tomorrow. So just please don't ever say that you could even compete with Brit because you are like cement on the ground compared to her. Ok sorry just had to get that out of my system.

And really though......don't we all grow up and dream of being rock stars. I know I did. I'm not ashamed. It's hands down the best job in the world. Anyone disagree?

So like my other blogs this has turned into a bunch of rambling. I really need to stop following Courtney Love on Twitter. I think that's where I am getting this shit. Anyways go after your dreams no matter what! I got your back!

Peace, Love, & DREAMS

S

All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible.


It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.

Take back now, My life you're stealing

Happy New Year my loves!!!! Hope everyone had a fun and safe NYE......I know I sure did have the fun part! Safe?? Well if you count taking way too many shots, falling on the dance floor over and over(I'm a dancer too to make matters worse), and not remembering anything from 12:30 to about 3am, then sure I was definitely safe! Hahaha ohh how much I forgot I hated drinking! I drank 3 times this month and everytime was quite disastrous I must say. This is why I prefer to stay in or go do sober activities much more. I lost my camera. I probably had some cool photos too of me drunk. Damnit! I looked very delicious as well, I must say. I did a very smokey eye last night! I never wear make up but when I do I do it up! It was really pretty.

So I discovered a new guy tonight. I'm watching Cribs(I'm too hungover to focus today obviously considering the tv was on which is RARE!), and this cute cute funny guy is showing his apt. He was soo funny I was just dying laughing. I seriously am smiling right now about a guy that I may never meet and lives across the country. So he's in the band All American Rejects and his name is Tyson Ritter. How did I miss him before. He recently broke up with his supermodel actress gf. So if this whole going to LA thing for dance works out this year we'll be in the same town. Great! He's adorable.......does anybody else have the love bug for Tyson Ritter?

Well that's all. Nothing too fascinatingly new. I'm VERY sore from dancing 24/7 and my legs literally feel like they are to heavy to lift. Very happy for my friend Tera's grandpa winning his last bowl game as the head coach for FSU. I cannot wait to get out of Pittsburgh for a while. Only 24 more days. Happy New Year once again and God Bless.

Peace & Love

S

-Please don't pick this apart and talk about it. It's not that interestng.