Has the Moon Lost Her Memory.....Memories

This week I did entire sweep through of my childhood bedroom at my parents house. As I was throwing out the old.....and just kept throwing out the old, I came across a large box with a button for closure and a woman in a little black dress. It was my memory box I started back in high school. I hadn't gone through it in a while so I decided last night was better than any. And the things I found gave me the most joy.

From different ribbons I had to wear in my hair for performances, all of my Playbill books from the musicals and plays I've attended in NYC, to the menu from Lara's 25th birthday at Morton's and my audition sticker I wore all week at American Idol. While it's soo crazy seeing all these things at once, it is kind of unique how it is all in one box. Over 10 years of my life in this one box. A ton of concert tickets-Dr. Dre/Snoop 'Up in Smoke Tour', Bush, N'sync, Smashing Pumpkins......A Grandstand ticket to Preakness 2002 I was given by an older man because he thought I was 'very pretty'(Maggie! Remember this hahaha), endless numbers that were given to me to wear during every single audition for Ballet Summer Schools, and a small piece of the WVU newspaper stating that I was a proud new Sister of Kappa Kappa Gamma that starting to darken. These are literally some of the most wonderful times in my life so far.

And then there are the cards and letters. I don't hang onto cards, and all of my 2,000 hospital cards are in a separate bag, so these ones are very special. One is from Bekah in 2004. The front says 'I think I'm finally over my Bad Boy phase' then inside she jokes that maybe one day we will haha and nope not yet we both still love the bad. "I wanted to congratulate you on your jobs! I am soo happy for you! I know you'll start to love the city more than anything. I love and miss you TONS!" I used to cry to Bekah daily about how I didn't like living in the city. A huge envelope reads 'KKG' on the front and contains EVERYTHING from rush week and pref night(which I tried to get out of because i wanted to go home to see Britney Spears). Kappa kind of, in a wierd way, created my life. Every single girl, every single date party, and every single sleepover.

These girls mean the WORLD to me. I have no idea who I would be without them. I am soo lucky to have the same girls I met in 2000 to still be the girls I talk to everyday ten years later. I love them soo much and I have to shut up about sorority because I am beginning to cry my eyes out. Another card I found is from Whitney. She gave it to me a few days before she graduated and we both were having a hard time leaving eachother. "You are such an important factor in my life. You are unlike anyone I have ever met and I feel soo lucky to be friends with you. I have someone in my life that buys a $30 Fairy to hang above your bed that you call and sleep in "the princess loft" and does Britney Spears full out for anyone who asks. You are like a walking happy pill for me. I don't know what I am going to do without you next year. I love you soo much. Your one of those people I am really scared to leave because I wonder how I am going to do without you around on a daily basis." I love that card and I was just in Whitney's wedding last weekend. We have a beautiful friendship. I must mention this card from Maggie as well. I believe from what can figure out that this was sent when I was in my 2nd deep depression. "You are not anyone to me; you are the "anyone" that I tell everything to. I know you are going through a really hard time but we are best friends and WE are going to get through this together. I promise that we are going to look back on this one day and laugh(NO I remember that was a HORRIBLE time. No laughing now or then.). Do and go where you and what you need to be ok & don't think about what everyones going to think. I can't wait to watch Uptown Girls with you for the millionth time! I love you. L&L"." As we all went through our times, we had a horrible time when we lost Allison's little brother to depression resulting in suicide in 2004. I have the tiny blue folded paper with a blue bow that states "In Loving Memory". I always used to tell Allison that I wanted to marry her little brother he was soooo cute. Scott's death had a huge impact on Michelle and me. It still does. She's my little sister and best friend.

Jackie, a high school friend, wrote me a funny letter and I just found a part that I just adore. "I'll always remember you as the cute little ballerina who wears designer clothes(duh) and red lipstick. The girl who decided to dye her hair bright red one day(shut up how funny is that because I just did that now 14 years later!). I really want to stay as cool as we are now. I feel like I am losing a part of myself. P.S. You and Chris Mowod are going to get married just accept it." So funny. Red hair, designer clothes, and Christopher. There are lot's of acceptance and denial letters from Ballet Companies from all over the country, Britney Spears 1st album booklet, sticker photos of Janiene and everything N'Sync. A note from Justin right before we did his choreography in the student choreography show......."Thanks for doing this though it's been hell!I love you and you have a great future in store for you. Break a Pointe Shoe!" Aww I remember I wore make up that night. Like a lot! haha. Hospital bracelets, and a million 'Good Luck' 'Break a Leg', tiny cards from all the many many performances.

To finish this up I will let you read the a letter I wrote to my crush. He was in 5th. And I was really conceited. Just listen. "Here are some photos to remember me by! I'll miss you always!" Okay wait maybe we were bf/gf? Either way still not appropriate! Umm like who does that??? You would think I was giving him sexy photos. There are 3 photos inside. One of me on top of the podium having a gold meddle placed around my neck(conceited), a one sitting really proper doing my good side(conceited), and another in a black dress and patent leather flats about to go to the theatre(conceited). Too funny and just shows that people really don't change too much now do they. I hope you all enjoyed this and if you do not have all of your old memories together, maybe you should start a box as well. BTW as you see I did not bring out any of the folding notes from the boys. I'd be writing forever. Same with the 2 signing books and my high school diary. Another time.

Peace & Love

S

salfuh

Ready For Those Flashing Lights

I'm doing some major cleaning at my parents house in my storage room. I'm not the girl too keep things and I regularly clean out my closet and possessions every three months and take them to the goodwill or if the piece was designer and gorgeous, I will sell on ebay. So last night I decided what a better night then tonight to start cleaning the storage room. I didn't get far at all because one of the 1st bags I picked up was filled with photographs. I tried to put it aside and not too look but it was just such an exciting find, I just had too.

Well let's just put this out there plain and simple. I have been a posing diva since I basically knew what a camera was. I didn't think I was that bad until I got to college(we'll get into that in a minute) but as I am going through old photos I noticed I was even rocking out my good side at three. Funny yes.....but normal, no! I am an only child as most of you know so it was always all about me. Not only did I know how to pose but I was actually a true little diva. Beginning ballet at 3 and figure skating at 6.....I was always the best in my field. Even while standing at the top of the podium, all my flowers were strategically placed in my arms and I am slightly turned to my right so I could do my best "head towards the left shoulder". This pose is also often used till this day. I also knew my best features from a very young age. The long legs were always extended and pointed and my butt was always made to look even more adorable in photos. I continued this professional posing and all eyes on me up until I left for college.....or so I thought. But the best was actually to come.

My best friend is pretty much a replica of me. We are both only children(she has step bro's and sis' but she was definitely raised as an only). Our mothers did everything for us. And we thought we were the cats' meow. This is one of the reasons I think we decided to be bff's. (And don't worry we still are. Soulmate Diva's). Our sophomore year of college we should have just been at modeling camp. For an entire 9 months, instead of trying to pursue school work, we worked on our best sides. Everynight we took photos. Everynight we would say to eachother "we look soo hot tonight it's just like not even funny." Were we serious? Yes. Do we still say that to eachother today. Yes. Nothing is wrong with self admiration. If everyone thought like this there wouldn't be so many issues with body image. We are not though, by any means conceded so I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Both of us are probably two of the nicest people you will ever meet. We just adored posing. We also frequently talk about the paparazzi like we run into them often. Let's just put it this way. We know how to rock the pose and dream of walking down the red carpet.

Now since I went to preforming arts middle and high school, I also thought knowing your best side and how to look best in a photo was normal knowledge. EVERYONE loved themselves and totally know their best sides and positions. So what I was wondering is......is this normal activity for everyone know since the world has turned into such a photographic place? Or does this start when you, maybe perhaps you're born with the gene, and stays with you the rest of your life?

Above is a photo of me at 3. I am posing in the mirror, checking myself out, while my dad took a photograph behind me. Seems cute huh? Ohh it is but if you look closely in my eyes you can totally see the demons of my soul, thinking and knowing "damn I look hot!" hahaha. BTW-please ignore my horrid turnout! Eww!

Peace & Paparazzi

S

-I would adore your feedback to know if this is a normal act or not. Thanks dolls!

Talk That Sexy Talk To Me

This afternoon I was reminded of one of my favorite pastimes. So were at lunch today and one of my girlfriends gets a so so raunchy text message from a boy that she is talking to at the moment. Thank God we were there to help her through this difficult text situation and made her come out looking like a pro. She was a text sex virgin. It's called sexting and it can come in many forms. Very intimate texts, foreplay style texts, and full on text sex. I personally prefer the good old fashioned phone sex, but with technology today, it's all about the sexting. Thankfully my girlfriend went through her 1st round of "intimate texts", with the great help we had provided her, but sometimes it doesn't end up this way.

I am a very sexually open girl so text sex to me is child splay but don't worry I still do participate. Usually sexting happens when: your boyfriend or girlfriend is away, long distance relationships(don't get involved in LDR's btw. Not worth it!), and what used to be drunk dialing has now turned into drunk texting. The best part about sexting is that you get to send naughty naughty photos with your provocative texts. You get to get all dressed up in your sexy naughty girl gear or for you full on freaks you can dress it down to the nude. I DO NOT do the nude shots. Ok Ok you caught me....I did send a hot photo this year to an ex of my boobs after they grew 2 sizes! I just had to. These, nude shots, can end up in any ones hands and well I mean we all saw what happened to Miley Cirus. And if it's not posted on TMZ, for us normal people it may end up on facebook or even worse.....in all of our boyfriends or the boy that your seeing, friends inboxes!!! So, as I always state in every blog, lingerie is the way to go. Another rule, if this happens in the evening just have full on text sex. Don't waste your lovely lingerie and drunkenness on something unless it's going to get really hot and bothered. The intimate and foreplay texts are meant for usually daytime hours. Don't fret though, there is no bad time to get down.

I will only display the one poor act that text sexting can take. So you did all your boy and do your "her baby. I miss you so much. What would you do to me if you were here. I'm going to do this to you. Now I'm on top" blah blah blah freaky talk. Send a few pics of each other back and forth and before you know it your boy toy gets off and your left with no more incoming text and listening to "Touch Of My Hand." Now this is why I like phone sex so much better. Just put that bluetooth on and let your imagination go wild with both hands free. Very fun for both participants.

Best wishes in your experiences and hopefully you have a gf or bf that loves to do this. Life can be a bore, so don't date one. Even if you had just seen them sometimes all you want is more, more, more! If you find it hard to come up with your next line just say I want to have "hot dirty unicorn sex"eg:dlisted.com's explaination of Robert Patterson, and that should totally work

"I make no appologies. I'm into phonography. I like my bluetooth, buttons comin' loose. I need my hands free"-B.Spears

Peace and Love

S