I'm home right now in Pittsburgh, PA. Where it is currently(haha j/k, I meant permanently) raining, cold, dark, and dreary. While having a little time to go through my photo albums and boxes of books that couldn't make the move, I pulled out my 12 Step Book. Now not that I believe the 12 Steps work or don't work(I think that is up to you on how you wish to recover), but I do STRONGLY agree in Step 8 and 9! We'll get to that in a minute. I spent over half a year helping someone who used and abused me to death.....okay I'll take away the abuse.....no let's actually keep that in there because you did abuse me in the sense that I was on this earth to help them. Me, being the kind soul I unfortunately am, will basically help absolutely anyone who asks. I've been to hell and back a few times so I know what it's like and you sure do need that shoulder to cry on and a confidant who will never tell your secrets. So there I was helping, worrying, crying when they would disappear to go on a bender for a couple days and not tell me, and pretty much just walked all over. Being the state that they were in, I know from my personal experiences, they did not mean or even know that they were treating me this way. Anyways lets move on.
Back to Step 8 please-make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all. DING DING DING!!!! Now that your sanity is restored I just have a little question.....where in the world is my letter? I'm completely being real right now and I'm feeling tonight and I want to know where the heck is my letter or my (9.)Direct Amends. Phone call??? And I wouldn't be going through any of this with my readers and the person this is directed to if I didn't have almost the exact same issues. I know we love and care for each other very much soo but when should I start to feel hurt from the lack of acknowledgement? Here's some tips dear on how you can fix this all up!
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for helping me through the worst part of my life and always being there for me. You helped SAVE MY LIFE.
Sincerely,
Blank
Done. Soo easy but I mean I would hope you'd have more to say than that but just that would be kind and recognizing Step 8&9 in the 12 Steps. Or even maybe like a "Thank you for keeping me out of even more trouble I could have got into and for ALWAYS helping me out financially. Ohh and keeping a huge secret that you could only talk to your therapist about." Love, BLANK
Either way done and done. I am soo proud of you and even more proud that you have found happiness. Not a day goes by when you don't run though my mind at one time or another. But this is how I am when I am in this town. Let's just say I am excited to get back to LA because at least there I focus on myself. I live to give others advice on some of the things I have went through, what it takes it pick it all back up, and how to live minute by minute-day by day. But I guess I did something wrong. Yes, I probably babied you too much but hey what else was I supposed to do? You were on a very low maturity level at the time and that's what I thought was best. I HATE tough love so I don't use it.
So my best suggestion is to hull ass to Hallmark, pick up a card and just let me know that you appreciated everything I have done. Your ********* have my address.
That's it. And you know what, I highly doubt I would be even thinking of this if I weren't in pgh. You and I both know how wonderful it is to escape from the past and start fresh. I hope you are somewhere gorgeous and the sun is always shining. Like we had planned before, you know you can always come where I am and stay for a year or two there. You're soo freaking sweet that I cannot be mad. This is more of a protocol thing. You know I don't ever have it in me to be mean to you.
With that all said, I am now going to go watch on Demand my favorite episode of Glee. It's titled Grilled Cheesus. Everyone watch it if you haven't already. It's one of my all time favorite episodes. Okay totally way off the subject there but do watch it! Moving on....
Back to Step 8 please-make a list of all persons we have harmed, and become willing to make amends to them all. DING DING DING!!!! Now that your sanity is restored I just have a little question.....where in the world is my letter? I'm completely being real right now and I'm feeling tonight and I want to know where the heck is my letter or my (9.)Direct Amends. Phone call??? And I wouldn't be going through any of this with my readers and the person this is directed to if I didn't have almost the exact same issues. I know we love and care for each other very much soo but when should I start to feel hurt from the lack of acknowledgement? Here's some tips dear on how you can fix this all up!
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for helping me through the worst part of my life and always being there for me. You helped SAVE MY LIFE.
Sincerely,
Blank
Done. Soo easy but I mean I would hope you'd have more to say than that but just that would be kind and recognizing Step 8&9 in the 12 Steps. Or even maybe like a "Thank you for keeping me out of even more trouble I could have got into and for ALWAYS helping me out financially. Ohh and keeping a huge secret that you could only talk to your therapist about." Love, BLANK
Either way done and done. I am soo proud of you and even more proud that you have found happiness. Not a day goes by when you don't run though my mind at one time or another. But this is how I am when I am in this town. Let's just say I am excited to get back to LA because at least there I focus on myself. I live to give others advice on some of the things I have went through, what it takes it pick it all back up, and how to live minute by minute-day by day. But I guess I did something wrong. Yes, I probably babied you too much but hey what else was I supposed to do? You were on a very low maturity level at the time and that's what I thought was best. I HATE tough love so I don't use it.
So my best suggestion is to hull ass to Hallmark, pick up a card and just let me know that you appreciated everything I have done. Your ********* have my address.
That's it. And you know what, I highly doubt I would be even thinking of this if I weren't in pgh. You and I both know how wonderful it is to escape from the past and start fresh. I hope you are somewhere gorgeous and the sun is always shining. Like we had planned before, you know you can always come where I am and stay for a year or two there. You're soo freaking sweet that I cannot be mad. This is more of a protocol thing. You know I don't ever have it in me to be mean to you.
With that all said, I am now going to go watch on Demand my favorite episode of Glee. It's titled Grilled Cheesus. Everyone watch it if you haven't already. It's one of my all time favorite episodes. Okay totally way off the subject there but do watch it! Moving on....
Everyone do not forget to say your prayers and keep your spirituality high. There is never a gift that is as precious as being happy and healthy so for all of you that are please remember that is a true blessing. I know you're there now.
Love & Loyalty
S
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